My wardrobe is essentially a series of drawers piled on top of one another, hidden away behind the hollow piece of furniture known as my wardrobe. It is compiled of four drawers, where the top one hoards socks and underwear; the second down holds t-shirts and shorts; the third below is really just an accumulation of trivial junk relating to scarves, swimsuits you would never think to wear in public, the odd bandage that was once wrapped around a swollen ankle, and a cheap novelty sweatband promoting Australia Day. The forth drawer contains an assortment of fluorescent coloured pyjamas predominately purchased by a long-lost grandmother in an attempt to reassure you that she still thinks about you occasionally, even if her memory is receding. So, how does this manifestation of the human body, the digestive system, refer to clothing?
Well, it all begins at the sock drawers, more commonly known as the mouth. Instead of balling up my socks and gently pressing them into the drawer, I hastily throw mine in as if they had contracted some source of radiation. Although, the next more I discover... they aren't there! A logical person would believe that the heap of socks thrown in such a confined space would result in a build-up of them behind the drawer, consequence of pulling the drawer inside and out. But I'm not a logical person. I'd simply like to blame the socks' disappearance on the conclusion of being devoured on by the mysteries of the wardrobe, Now, during the sock's digestive path, they may fall down the back of the wardrobe once no longer held up by the jamming sensation behind the drawer. This is known as the oesophagus. Once tunneling down the oesophagus, they will most likely end up in a new drawer, making it very difficult for me to trace down their whereabouts. This process may continue until they reach the bottom of the wardrobe, where through digestion and the break-down of many essential fabrics, the socks have begun to fray, acquire mould, and become several sizes too small.
This is my dilemma, and as I have become sick of losing numerous socks, pairs and individuals, it is unfortunately time for me to seriously sort out my clothes.